Intimacy With Your Leader

For the one who desires to be a disciple, as opposed to being just a church goer, there is a need for closeness to the leader they are following.  However,while necessary for growth, there is an element of danger in this type of relationship.

When walking in relationship with the one God is using to train and disciple (discipline) you there is every opportunity for you to be open and transparent.  Your leader will note your successes, your strengths, and your anointing.  They will also see your glaring faults, weaknesses, or failures....and the ones not so glaring.

If you have a leader who tends, by their personality, to keep you at arms length concerning their own personal issues this is safest for you.  This leader does not see you as their confidante simply because of the nature of your relationship.  Safely you will be discipled without the added burden of "friendship".

But what do you do when the leader you are following tends to be a people person?  They love fellowship, they are open and gladly share their life with you..the successes and the failures.  They speak with you as a dear friend and not just a person in authority over your life.  They trust you enough to lay their life bare to you and due to this level of intimacy you see more of their humanity than you wanted to.

Human nature tends to take for granted anyone we feel equal or superior to.  The disciple who has a leader who draws a line in the sand and limits the level of intimacy with them is the safest person to be discipled by.  However the disciple, being loved from afar by their leader, misses out on training at a more intimate level.  God Himself wants to be known in an intimate way.  The servant who knows every detail about His master is better equipped to serve them and to train others to serve them. 

IF...

they can, with Godly fear, remember their place.

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him."  John 13:16

"For three things the earth is perturbed, For a servant when he reigns, A fool when he is filled with food,
A hateful woman when she is married, And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress."  Prov 30: 21-23

 

When walking in intimacy with your leader pride, presumption, and bitterness are strong temptations.  Because you see the human side of your leader, when they must bring correction the temptation will be to cast of restraint because they themselves have issues that need correction.

Haughtiness can fill your heart when you think you know better than your leader.  This may be true in some cases however God still demands a high level of reverence for the mantle of leadership that He has placed upon their shoulders.  Serving your leader with humble and loyal prayer offered on their behalf  is pleasing to God and keeps your heart from disloyalty.

Competition and ingratitude will flood your heart the minute you are wondering why God is using your leader when you are much more educated, talented, or even more spiritually gifted than they.

When God calls you to be a disciple of another every talent, gift, or bit of knowledge should be offered up to God as being at complete disposal of the leader for the good of the ministry.  These were given to you by God not for self promotion, but for the edification of others and for the furtherance of God's mission.

It is a sad thing when people poke fun at or kid their leaders in private or in front of others.  While the leader may not be overly concerned about such carelessness God is concerned. People who do this either lack maturity or have forgotten God's commandment to...

"...Touch not my anointed, and do my prophets no harm." 1 Chron 16:22

Making your leader the butt of your jokes will demean not only them but their God given authority.

If you have a close and  intimate relationship with your leader my advice to you is draw a line in the sand and NEVER cross it.  That line should always remind you that your leader is to be reverenced (hence the title Reverend in some circles) and treated with Godly fear at all times.

Remember to not let one thing cross your lips OR your mind that is critical, overly familiar, or rebellious toward your leader. 

An intimate loving relationship with your leader is to be treasured and guarded at all cost.  The devil and your own flesh will do all it can to to pull you out from under their protective headship.

If you keep your heart with all diligence you will reap the rewards of this special relationship God has given you and your leader will continually give God thanks for the refreshing he receives by your loyal and reverent service.

Whosoever keeps the fig tree shall eat its fruit: so he that waits on his master shall be honored. KJV 2000
The one who guards a fig tree will eat its fruit, and whoever protects their master will be honored. NIV

Whoever nurtures the fig tree will eat its fruit, and whoever obeys his master will be honored. ISAV

He who tends the fig tree will eat its fruit, And he who cares for his master will be honored. NASBV

Proverbs 27:18

Raising Strong Children For Christ

There is a common refrain among our children.

Whether they speak it out, act it out, or both their nature is to conform to this world.

At least in the U.S. (I cannot speak for other nations as I have not had the chance to visit overseas) most of our children want to wallow in entertainment, comfort, and attain some degree of fame.

We as parents have to be careful that we do not pander to those desires. As a parent it is our responsibility to keep our children headed to Christ and doing His will until they reach adulthood.  However too many parents either lack the courage to command their children to God or we feel they should be allowed a childhood with little responsibility and serious thinking.  Or worse we feel we must support every desire even though those same desires will conform our children to this world and not God.

To raise strong children WE must first be strong in the Lord.  Parents who waver in their faith, are moved by every wind of doctrine, are rebellious and self seeking, and whose faith in the word of God is purely focused on His promises of blessings are not setting a standard for their children to follow.  In an Army, the standard must fly high for all to see and follow.  We must not lower Jesus' standard but raise it high.  We must believe that though the standard is high our children can attain it by God's grace.

We must also be courageous.  The nature of a child, particularly teenangers, is rebelliousness.  They will, if we let them, fight going to church, fight prayer, fight the will of God.  They will weep, pout, throw temper tantrums, and accuse us of ruining their lives. Why can't they do what their friends are doing?  Hold fast, pray, and do not be moved by the displeasure of your children but train them up the way they should go. (Prov 22:6)

To raise strong children you must not let your emotions get the best of you.  Do not teach your children to be carnal.  Their are parents that teach their children, boys in particular, to get in the first punch during a conflict yet they will not teach them they must pray and get the first punch in with the devil.  If they are being picked on by their peers they must forgive.  If they are being laughted at for their faith teach them to rejoice in the face of persecution (Matt 5:11-12).  Do not let pity for your child's distressing circumstances to cause you to baby them.  Give them the Word of God and command them, with compassion, to obey and trust God.

Do not be afraid to command your children to pray and read the Word daily.  We cannot force our children to love God but we can create in them habits that will be difficult to shake when they become adults. 

Have your own prayer life and let them hear you pray, repent, rejoice, intercede, and worship.

Their rebelliousness or talking back to adults, irreverence in the house of God, tantrums, name calling, lying etc...is not cute. Discipline them promptly. (Prov 13:24)

Be a parent of strong convictions.  Children  are observant and know when we are being wishy-washy.  One day we are going all out for God, the next we are couch potatoes.  A consistent walk with God will give your children security in their growing faith.

When your children moan that they don't have friends, they just want to be normal and be like everyone else, that they feel alone.  Remind them that walking with God sometimes is a lonely road.  Share stories of how you felt left out or rejected at work, in your family, or even in church because of your faith but how God got you through.  Remind them that this is why we pray.  If we are in relationship with God we are never alone.

Allow your children to obtain what they need in life through prayer.  Yes, we bless our children as we are able.  But when they have a desire that is beyond us join with them in prayer and let them see God move on their behalf.  This will boost their faith.

Teach your children to give.  Teach them with every cash gift to take out the tithe and an offering to God first.

Be, for lack of a better word, nosey.  Check their rooms, phones, ipads etc..  As long as your child lives in your home their is no such thing as the need for privacy.  Because we do not live in sin our lives should be an open book.  The only thing that needs to be hidden are those things that we do not want to be exposed...sin or compromise.  So goes it for our children.  Unless they are hiding something or they pridefully do not want to be questioned they should not hesitate to let you hear what they are listening to on their ipod or looking at on the internet.  For that matter all internet use should be limited and supervised. The world and the devil will use anything to capitvate the hearts of our children.

Teach your children that life can and will be difficult.  That God is in the good and the bad circumstances of life.  That even so they must be grateful and rejoice in God.  They must not complain but learn to take what comes with faith bringing it to God in prayer.

Do not give your opinion.  Give them the Word of God.

Do not let your child spend the night or go on extended day trips with families that you do not know well.  If you are not close with those parents and cannot speak openly with them about concerns you have with your child while in their care then do not entrust your child with them.  Have their friends over to your house.

Let other spiritual adults speak into the lives of your children.  Welcome concerns of your peers or leadership about your children.  Parents who get offended when other adults come to them about the behavior of their children are prideful. Parents who insist their children keep dark family secrets and allow them no other adults to turn to in their distress are hurting them. (Prov 24:6)

Teach your children that church attendance is important.  We cannot grow in God, be fed, build strong relationships with one another, or serve the body if we are not present.  Teach them that if an after school activity will conflict with church then church must be the top priority.

And finally do not just release your child because they have turned 18 or 21.  Until they marry you are still their covering.  While we do not treat our adult children as we did when they were children we still need to prayerfully watch over them.  We should not be afraid to step in and ask them the hard questions.  If they are acting in some carnal way inquire how you may pray for them.  I am not saying you should be a tyrant or controlling but in the church when our peers our acting in some fleshly way we confront them in love.  It is no different with adult children.  Your correction is needed even when they become adults.  However we do this in love and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  If your child has been raised in the Word and you have set a pattern of this all their lives it will be no shock to them that it continues into their adulthood.  Though it may annoy them deep down they know they should listen...they especially will know it and even appreciate it if the Holy Spirit has already been convicting them because they have a prayer life.  This is why we command daily prayer when they are small.  That it may continue into adulthood.

For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him. Gen 18:19

Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren...  Deut 4:9