Raising Strong Children For Christ

There is a common refrain among our children.

Whether they speak it out, act it out, or both their nature is to conform to this world.

At least in the U.S. (I cannot speak for other nations as I have not had the chance to visit overseas) most of our children want to wallow in entertainment, comfort, and attain some degree of fame.

We as parents have to be careful that we do not pander to those desires. As a parent it is our responsibility to keep our children headed to Christ and doing His will until they reach adulthood.  However too many parents either lack the courage to command their children to God or we feel they should be allowed a childhood with little responsibility and serious thinking.  Or worse we feel we must support every desire even though those same desires will conform our children to this world and not God.

To raise strong children WE must first be strong in the Lord.  Parents who waver in their faith, are moved by every wind of doctrine, are rebellious and self seeking, and whose faith in the word of God is purely focused on His promises of blessings are not setting a standard for their children to follow.  In an Army, the standard must fly high for all to see and follow.  We must not lower Jesus' standard but raise it high.  We must believe that though the standard is high our children can attain it by God's grace.

We must also be courageous.  The nature of a child, particularly teenangers, is rebelliousness.  They will, if we let them, fight going to church, fight prayer, fight the will of God.  They will weep, pout, throw temper tantrums, and accuse us of ruining their lives. Why can't they do what their friends are doing?  Hold fast, pray, and do not be moved by the displeasure of your children but train them up the way they should go. (Prov 22:6)

To raise strong children you must not let your emotions get the best of you.  Do not teach your children to be carnal.  Their are parents that teach their children, boys in particular, to get in the first punch during a conflict yet they will not teach them they must pray and get the first punch in with the devil.  If they are being picked on by their peers they must forgive.  If they are being laughted at for their faith teach them to rejoice in the face of persecution (Matt 5:11-12).  Do not let pity for your child's distressing circumstances to cause you to baby them.  Give them the Word of God and command them, with compassion, to obey and trust God.

Do not be afraid to command your children to pray and read the Word daily.  We cannot force our children to love God but we can create in them habits that will be difficult to shake when they become adults. 

Have your own prayer life and let them hear you pray, repent, rejoice, intercede, and worship.

Their rebelliousness or talking back to adults, irreverence in the house of God, tantrums, name calling, lying etc...is not cute. Discipline them promptly. (Prov 13:24)

Be a parent of strong convictions.  Children  are observant and know when we are being wishy-washy.  One day we are going all out for God, the next we are couch potatoes.  A consistent walk with God will give your children security in their growing faith.

When your children moan that they don't have friends, they just want to be normal and be like everyone else, that they feel alone.  Remind them that walking with God sometimes is a lonely road.  Share stories of how you felt left out or rejected at work, in your family, or even in church because of your faith but how God got you through.  Remind them that this is why we pray.  If we are in relationship with God we are never alone.

Allow your children to obtain what they need in life through prayer.  Yes, we bless our children as we are able.  But when they have a desire that is beyond us join with them in prayer and let them see God move on their behalf.  This will boost their faith.

Teach your children to give.  Teach them with every cash gift to take out the tithe and an offering to God first.

Be, for lack of a better word, nosey.  Check their rooms, phones, ipads etc..  As long as your child lives in your home their is no such thing as the need for privacy.  Because we do not live in sin our lives should be an open book.  The only thing that needs to be hidden are those things that we do not want to be exposed...sin or compromise.  So goes it for our children.  Unless they are hiding something or they pridefully do not want to be questioned they should not hesitate to let you hear what they are listening to on their ipod or looking at on the internet.  For that matter all internet use should be limited and supervised. The world and the devil will use anything to capitvate the hearts of our children.

Teach your children that life can and will be difficult.  That God is in the good and the bad circumstances of life.  That even so they must be grateful and rejoice in God.  They must not complain but learn to take what comes with faith bringing it to God in prayer.

Do not give your opinion.  Give them the Word of God.

Do not let your child spend the night or go on extended day trips with families that you do not know well.  If you are not close with those parents and cannot speak openly with them about concerns you have with your child while in their care then do not entrust your child with them.  Have their friends over to your house.

Let other spiritual adults speak into the lives of your children.  Welcome concerns of your peers or leadership about your children.  Parents who get offended when other adults come to them about the behavior of their children are prideful. Parents who insist their children keep dark family secrets and allow them no other adults to turn to in their distress are hurting them. (Prov 24:6)

Teach your children that church attendance is important.  We cannot grow in God, be fed, build strong relationships with one another, or serve the body if we are not present.  Teach them that if an after school activity will conflict with church then church must be the top priority.

And finally do not just release your child because they have turned 18 or 21.  Until they marry you are still their covering.  While we do not treat our adult children as we did when they were children we still need to prayerfully watch over them.  We should not be afraid to step in and ask them the hard questions.  If they are acting in some carnal way inquire how you may pray for them.  I am not saying you should be a tyrant or controlling but in the church when our peers our acting in some fleshly way we confront them in love.  It is no different with adult children.  Your correction is needed even when they become adults.  However we do this in love and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  If your child has been raised in the Word and you have set a pattern of this all their lives it will be no shock to them that it continues into their adulthood.  Though it may annoy them deep down they know they should listen...they especially will know it and even appreciate it if the Holy Spirit has already been convicting them because they have a prayer life.  This is why we command daily prayer when they are small.  That it may continue into adulthood.

For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him. Gen 18:19

Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren...  Deut 4:9